To Stanford Pines, PhD
by AngstyViolinist22
Summary: An honest letter to a lone scholar after he moves to Gravity Falls.


To Stanford Pines Ph.D.,

For someone who is known for their academic success, you really are clueless when it comes to social conventions. All the years we spent at Backupsmore U, and now you're taking off to the middle of the forest to study anomalies in the wild by yourself? I don't know what hurts more. The fact that you didn't tell me, or that you'd go alone even after we studied for countless hours together.

Why are you so afraid of partners? I thought we were a great team. And don't you dare think that you did all the work. The times I picked up on YOUR slack, you admitted that I was correct.

I know the first time Professor Jorgensen assigned us as partners, you were sulking. You did your best that our interactions were kept to a bare minimum. Keeping our conversations strictly about the task at hand. The times we saw each other, very short. That was at the start. But the more we talked; you saw that I was not just another student trying to get her degree, but someone that was also genuinely interested in the paranormal. You attempted small talk and our meetings went longer than 5 minutes. That was a good paper we wrote, even though it was only about Lucid Dreaming. And what surprised me was when the professor allowed us to pick our partners for our mid-term assignment; you found me and asked if we could be partners again. Ford, before that, you never worked with the same person twice. And after that, we were always partners. I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel special.

Then we started to get our meals together. And hanging out for fun. It's hard for me to watch Sci-Fi movies now, without you there explaining your theories about the fictional world that makes so much sense. I really thought that I was the lucky person that was able to see the true Ford Pines. No one at school was able to crack the mystery, and yet I stumbled upon it by sheer accident. I know you'd like to think that there is no such thing as accidents and that everything is done with purpose. But I can't explain properly how we came to be. And while you have multiple ones, don't forget I have a PhD as well.

Remember that time I grabbed your hand? You asked me what was I doing, and I replied that I just wanted to take a closer look at your extra digit. That was a lie. I wanted to hold your hand. It didn't fascinate me in a scientific manner. I felt so close to you on a personal level, I wanted to establish that on a physical level too. A part of me wished that you would stop being so logical for one moment and insist on holding hands with me for the comfort. I'll confess that such a fairy tale plot twist doesn't happen in the real world. But it doesn't stop what my heart yearns for.

Fine, I'm confirming it. For the longest time, I had feelings for you, Ford. And I played the fool's part by thinking that you had feelings for me in return. I'm assuming that you don't feel the same way, by the way you have treated me these last few months. I feel abandoned because of you. Yes, I have other friends in my life that I can go to instead of you. But even with your flaws, and yes you have them, none of them are wonderful like you. I can't find someone else that I can have an intelligent conversation with, that comes close to ours. Someone that doesn't get freaked out about the paranormal, but is curious about the great unknown just like me. Someone that eats anything I crave just because they want to dine with me. And to find somebody with all those traits PLUS the ones you lack? Good thing we're in the 'mystery business', because one would need to go on a great hunt to find such a quality person. 

You told me how you ended up at Backupsmore. That your family could only afford this school and that your twin brother ruined your chance for a scholarship at West Coast Tech. I sympathized with you. Your intelligence could have been greatly used at West Coast. Though, we would have never had the chance to meet each other if you attended there. So for my benefit, I'm glad. The point I want to bring up is, your twin. I know you still blame him after all these years. You guys did everything together for 17 years, and you let one thing get in between the two of you. You said that he left home and you haven't talked to him directly since. I used to feel bad for you, because of what Stanley did. But now I feel bad for him. Before me, he was your partner. You did everything together. Built the Stanowar, solved mysteries, even did boxing. If I'm feeling this way, over the course of a few years and as just a friend, I can't even begin to imagine how your twin must feel. They say that twins have a special connection. And right now, that connection between you and Stanley isn't there. But I'm sure that it can be salvaged. And one more thing, the common denominator between your partnership rifts, is you. Think about it.

Ford, you can't be on your own forever. Maybe for a couple years, but afterwards you're going to feel lonely and burned out. And then you'll look around and see that no one is there to lift you up. I want to be there for you, I'm ready for that challenge. You just need to say the word. But I won't be waiting forever. I won't give you an ultimatum either. Because I know that your stubborn self will just wait until it expires and then you would feel you got away, guilt-free. I'll wait for as long as I want to; could be months, or it could be years. No one knows, not even myself as I'm writing this letter. But once I stop waiting around for you, I hope there's someone that's willing to be there you, unconditionally. I am a proud Backupsmore Grad, but I refuse to be your backup plan. I hope that if you choose me, you do it quick. Each minute that passes, I am doubting my choices and preparing myself to move on.

I'm sorry that I'm using a letter to finally tell you all of this. I would have done this face to face. Trust me,  
I wanted to tell you how I was feeling for years. But I've been scared ever since the hand-holding experiment of '71. Though, you could have taken initiative and told me how you felt. Granted, that's only if you even _have_ any special feelings towards me.

I wish you luck in your adventures. For sure I'll be reading anything you publish. But I hope to read a response back from you, Ford. Or hear your voice again. You can call me, my number hasn't changed. And I won't yell, like all the messages I left on your old answering machine. I went to the forest we used to explore in, and probably scared off any mystical creatures that might have resided there by screaming profanities into the sky.

P.S When I first heard that you moved to Gravity Falls, I wondered if you picked it solely on how funny and true it sounded.

Sincerely,  
Your Best Friend


End file.
